As thrilled as I am to welcome a new baby into our family, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t also a bundle of nerves. There are just so many things to think about—how we’ll juggle two little ones, how our routines will shift, and of course, how Nate will adjust to no longer being the only child.
Naturally, I turned to this amazing community for wisdom, and the response was overwhelming in the best way possible. So many of you shared thoughtful, practical tips that I might never have considered on my own. Reading through your messages left me breathing a little easier and thinking, okay, we’re going to figure this out.
Because here’s the truth: the early days will be messy. There will be tears (probably mine), sleepless nights, and moments where Kevin and I look at each other and think, what did we just do? But the common theme in every single piece of advice was this—eventually, the dust settles. After a few months, we’ll find our rhythm, and what feels overwhelming now will simply become life. Comforting, right?
Since I know I’m not the first (or the last!) to feel these conflicting waves of excitement and anxiety, I thought I’d share the best nuggets of wisdom you all sent my way.
Tips for Transitioning from One Child to Two
1. Your firstborn will need you most
Yes, the baby will require constant care, but emotionally, your first child will need you more. One message that really stuck with me was: “The baby won’t remember these early days, but your older child will.” Keeping that perspective makes it clear where the balance of attention needs to lean.
2. Make time for one-on-one moments
Whether it’s breakfast dates, bedtime rituals, or Saturday morning pancake making, try to keep little traditions alive. Those small moments of connection can help reassure your older child that they’re still just as important as ever.
3. Guests should greet the sibling first
When family and friends come over to meet the new baby, ask them to say hello to your older child first. It may seem small, but it goes a long way in helping them feel seen and valued.
4. Keep a stash of “sibling gifts”
If visitors arrive with gifts for the baby, have a few small surprises on hand for your firstborn. Framing them as gifts “from the baby” can turn potential jealousy into a sweet bonding moment.
5. Stick with school or daycare if you can
If it’s financially possible, don’t pull your first child out of their routine. School or daycare gives them structure, social time, and a sense of normalcy—which can be grounding when everything else feels new.
6. Get help wherever you can
This tip came up again and again: outsource what you can. Night nurse, cleaning service, grocery delivery, dog walker—if it lightens the load, it’s worth it. Even just a few hours of help a week can make a huge difference in keeping everyone sane.
7. Involve your older child
Toddlers love to help. Let them hand you diapers, stir pancake batter, or pick out baby’s pajamas. Giving them little “jobs” makes them feel included and important instead of sidelined.
8. Bring a sibling gift to the hospital
When your older child meets their new brother or sister for the first time, have a wrapped gift ready “from the baby.” It helps set the tone for their relationship right from the start.
9. Keep routines steady
Don’t stress about forcing the new baby into a schedule—if you keep your older child’s routine intact, the baby will eventually fall into place.
10. Don’t neglect yourself
This one is easy to forget, but essential: your healing matters too. Rest when you can, nourish your body, and give yourself grace. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
11. Stock the freezer (and the wine rack)
Future-you will thank you for this one. Having meals ready to go makes a world of difference when you’re too tired to cook. And yes—many of you recommended stocking up on wine too.
12. Watch your language
Never blame the baby for what you can’t do with your older child. Instead of saying, “I can’t pick you up because of the baby,” try: “My back is tired.” It prevents resentment from building.
13. Create safe spaces
Have somewhere you can set the baby down safely when your older child needs your full attention. Baby loungers, bassinets, or swings can give you those precious hands-free moments.
14. Babywearing is a lifesaver
Carriers allow you to keep the baby close while freeing your hands for your toddler (or, let’s be honest, coffee).
The Reality Check
Let’s be real: the transition will be chaotic. There will be meltdowns, sleepless nights, and moments that push us to the edge. But the advice that kept coming through loud and clear was: embrace the mess. This stage doesn’t last forever, and in the grand scheme of things, it will fly by.
I’m seriously considering printing that phrase and taping it to our fridge: “It’s going to be a mess at first, but it gets better.” Because sometimes, a little reminder is all you need to get through the hard moments.
Your Turn
These were the most repeated and helpful tips I received, but I’d love to hear more. If you’ve gone through the shift from one child to two and had a game-changing strategy, please share it. The more prepared we can be (mentally, at least), the better.
And to anyone else about to make this transition—know that you’re not alone. It’s scary, yes, but it’s also a privilege. Our hearts (and hands) will be fuller, our lives more chaotic, and somehow, in the best way, everything will expand to make room for the love of two little humans.
