When I first learned I was pregnant with Sasha, I did what many soon-to-be parents do: I dove headfirst into Google. My search history quickly filled with questions like “What’s it like transitioning from one kid to two?” and “How do you survive life with a toddler and a newborn?” I was equal parts thrilled and terrified.
The truth is, I didn’t know how we were all going to handle it.
I worried about everything—some of it practical, some of it purely emotional. How would a baby and a toddler share a room? Would Keith and I have enough energy left for each other? Would Nate feel left out, or resent his new sibling? Would I ever sleep again? The questions swirled endlessly, like an internal checklist of doom.
To make matters worse, when I shared our room-sharing plan online, a woman messaged me in disbelief: “Wait—they’re going to be sharing a room?! Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Her reaction almost made me second-guess myself. Almost.
The Weight of the “What Ifs”
There’s no way around it—bringing another child into the world is a huge decision. Going from zero to one felt life-altering enough; adding a second child came with its own avalanche of anxieties. I worried about logistics, yes, but also about love. Could I give both kids enough of myself? Could our marriage handle the extra stress? Could our little home stretch to fit even more chaos?
The mental load of all that worry was heavy. But here’s the thing I’ve come to realize: worry is often louder than reality.
Three Months to Find Our Groove
We’re now about three and a half months into life as a family of four, and I can finally exhale a little. Before Sasha was born, so many moms of multiples told me, “Give it three months. It’s wild at first, but it gets easier. You’ll find your rhythm.” At the time, those words sounded like a distant promise, but they were right.
Day by day, things have gotten smoother. Sasha’s sleep is improving—both naps and nights—which we all know changes everything. The fog starts to lift once you’re not stumbling through every day on an hour of rest. And even early on, I felt more steady than I expected. That “okay, I can do this” feeling came sooner than I thought it would.
Why 0–1 Felt Harder Than 1–2
Surprisingly, the transition from one child to two hasn’t been as overwhelming as I feared. In fact, I found going from zero to one to be much harder.
When Nate was born, parenting was a total shock to the system. Suddenly our lives were dictated by feeding schedules, nap windows, and diaper changes. We were adjusting to everything all at once—new routines, new responsibilities, and a completely new identity as parents.
This time around, the shift hasn’t felt nearly as jarring. We were already in the thick of parenthood—early mornings, birthday parties, endless toy piles. Sasha didn’t flip our world upside down; she simply added another layer to the beautiful chaos we were already living in.
The Beautiful, Messy Middle
That’s not to say every day is seamless. Some days feel like total madness, and I know once Sasha starts walking, we’ll be entering a whole new chapter of exhaustion. But for now, we’re learning to take it one day at a time.
What’s different this time is perspective. With Nate, every little challenge felt monumental because it was the first time we’d experienced it. Now, we know the hard phases don’t last forever. We know babies eventually sleep, toddlers eventually stop throwing daily tantrums (well… most of them), and balance does return, even if it looks different than before.
What I’d Tell My Past Self
If I could go back and talk to that nervous, newly pregnant version of myself, here’s what I’d say:
- Yes, things will change. But change doesn’t have to mean chaos—it can mean growth.
- The love expands. Your heart doesn’t divide between children; it multiplies.
- You’ll find your groove. Maybe not overnight, but little by little, you’ll see yourself adjusting in ways you didn’t think possible.
- It’s okay to worry. But don’t let the “what ifs” rob you of the joy that’s waiting on the other side.
Living in the Now
Life with two kids isn’t always pretty. There are still moments of exhaustion, guilt, and wondering if I’m doing enough. But there are also countless moments of sweetness—watching Nate gently kiss Sasha’s forehead, hearing Sasha’s coos as Nate reads to her, feeling our home somehow expand with laughter and noise and love.
And that’s the thing: it’s not about having it all figured out. It’s about leaning into the mess, trusting that the hard days won’t last forever, and remembering that this season—chaotic as it may be—is fleeting.
We’re still learning, still fumbling, still finding our rhythm. But more and more, I’m realizing: we’ve got this.
